I feel the call to use this space to share a little bit more about my own personal journey. A journey that has been a roller coaster ride since I started to awaken my own Womb Energy. As you may have read in my short personal journey, or you may have seen in the introduction video, I was really low when I embarked on this.
Let me start from the beginning. When I signed up for the Womb Awakening online course it was September 2017. I had been struggling with accepting myself as being a mother. I was running a busy Holiday Rental Company and working 7 days a week, literally running after money, trying to fulfill myself. I was also training heavily to achieve the perfect body and following strict food restrictions and I would push myself to the limit with all of this. This strict dieting and fitness regime caused an old knee injury to come up and I couldn’t move normally. Very unhandy, because I was also working as a Personal Trainer ( I know, how busy can you be). I had a very low self esteem, was lost on my path and had suffered the whole summer with a severe pneumonia.
Luckily, I had a therapist, Julie, who supported me on this journey and prevented me to sink into a real depression. But I knew, something had to change. And so I did. I signed up for the Womb Awakening course starting in September. I truly believe that this work has saved me alongside with the powerful healing work I have done with Julie. And after the course I made a decision to stop the Rental Company. I quit the job and used the extra time that had given me to journey deeper into my Womb in a winter circle. The name Find your Bliss and Blissfinderz were birthed in the first online circle and I started a Facebook Group and slowly an idea was created.
This winter gathering I was in, was very very deep healing work. The memories coming up, were sometimes so intense that I was overwhelmed by it. We worked profoundly on Ancestral Healing and working strongly with the magical Black Light helping to clear layers of myself that were no longer serving. For 5 months, I journeyed deeply into my womb every monday. And after completing these 5 months I started slowly to acknowledge that I am a healer. And I was meant to work with energy and helping others to go through similar processes. When the Winter circle was finished the possibility to join the Womb Awakening Practitioner course came along and I was so so happy that Diana Beaulieu accepted me on her course.
Although it started as a 1 year training, I decided after a year to sign up for the advanced training too. And oh my, these 2 years were another life changing journey. The training started with 10 days on Ibiza. I remember feeling so small at the beginning. Like all of these women were so far in their awareness and had done so many courses and trainings and worked on so many different levels. I realized I was such a beginner. It made me feel humble and small. Looking at this now, I know that the feeling of humbleness still is inside of me when I share this work, but it has a different vibe. Now I feel humble to be one of the ladies that are chosen to share this powerful work with the world. It is a very pure feeling.
Within these 10 days I was confronted with the birth trauma that I still carried inside of me. Giving birth to my son was a traumatic experience. It took me 48 hours to ´get him out´ and I lost complete faith in my body in this process. The conclusion was that this had caused me a lot of unnecessary pain and was a big part in my acceptance of being a mother. I will share more about this in a different blog.
I also encountered rage. A massive, icy cold rage. It was so big that I had to stop the practice. I completely disconnected from myself and the group. It was so overwhelming that Diana, the teacher, took me outside to calm down. I can’t remember the conversation we had, it was like she was speaking to me, but I couldn’t hear and listen anymore. What I do remember was that she asked me what animal I wanted to be. I said a Lion. And she suggested to scream and roar like a lion, so I did. It was a big journey into my deepest wounds which only recently got healed. I will share more about this in a separate blog, but I can only say, I know what pure rage feels like and it came up when I didn’t expect it and it really really needed to be seen. It took me 2,5 years of peeling of these layers of anger to really come to the core of it.
There are so many stories to tell from this week, but these 2 insights and experiences are so profound that I wanted to share these. I also want to share that some emotions are there to be released, but they come in layers. Years and lifetimes of pain cannot ´simply´ be healed in 1 ceremony. It takes time.
Anyway, throughout the years of training, I grew more confident in holding space. In offering this work to individuals and groups, online and offline. I learned that my intuition is strong. I learned during my exam how I actually tap into other people’s energy. I slowly starting to grow into this work and started to notice that the deeper I journey the deeper the women I work with journey too. It is interesting to see that some of my clients are journeying with me since the beginning and they are growing with me into this work too.
Some practices are more easily than the others. I have my own personal preferences. I am still growing and expanding into this powerful work, discovering new insights, new information, new perspectives. As for Blissfinderz and Find your Bliss. This is becoming a flourishing company now. I am so happy that more and more women are feeling the call to do this work too. I feel it is such an important aspect of our healing journey and the connection with our Womb is one of the keys into living a more abundant and aligned life. For me, it has helped me to rediscover my life’s purpose. Helping others to reconnect and shine their light.